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Building A Cathedral Takes Time

Category Archives: Writing

Multipotentialite. Or, People Whose Resumes Are a Little Wierd for LinkedIn.

13 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by Kate in Process, Writing

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Work

I have a variety of journals dating back to the age of six. And if you thumb through them, you will find a spiral staircase of answers to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A teacher was first. A mother. A singer. Later, an advertising executive, an illustrator, an author. An English professor. A history professor. A writer.

I was the kid who spent hours in my room writing and drawing, folding a stack of white paper and stapling the inside to make a book, then filling page after page with poems. I sang before I could talk, and started learning piano when I was six. I loved science. I was writing basic programs for our computer when I was ten or eleven.

 I loved history. I would check out so many library books that the bungee cord on the back of my bike would strain to hold them as I rode up the long hill home. Oh, yeah, and among them were dictionaries and thesauruses…thesauri.

I checked out thesauri from the library. More than one. More than once.

I loved all of the subjects. But I knew that one day I would specialize. After all, that’s what we do, right? It never really occurred to me that you could have all the jobs.
Back in the 1830’s, it was not like that that. Not in America, anyway. Generalists were valued. Knowing about many things was expected. Drawing lines between many fields of study was a worthwhile pursuit.

Then came specialization.

You can’t fully blame Darwin or Dewey, but everyone of significance seemed bent on specialization. After all, it was the way of progress! And indeed, only a deep dive into certain subjects would bring about the advances in medicine and science and technology.

But what about those who walk the line between disciplines, who skate from one to another, who survey across the lines from above to observe connections and find fresh ideas between the fields of study?

In college, I finished one major by my junior year, so I added another: Renaissance Studies. It was a major that barely existed, an interdisciplinary major comprised of courses in history, art history, literature, drama…so perfect. I loved it. And the inevitable, “So, what are you going to do with…”

Teach. I’m going to teach. I will be an English Professor.

My professors recognized my passion. I became a Phi Beta Kappa and graduated with my double degree, then packed up my red Ford Escort and moved three thousand miles away to go to graduate school. I undertook a field of study designed to give me the historical context for the literature and drama I loved…and then I fell in love with history.

I will be a History Professor!

I graduated with my master’s degree in church history and moved home.

Or, I could tell it this way: I moved to Boston, and I met fascinating people. I spent hours in museums, studying art. I learned Latin and French. I spent a year writing a thesis drawing the connections between theology and drama and history. I drove a ninety-year-old opera singer down to the Longy School of Music once a week and basked in her stories of life on three or four continents. I became her friend. I was the one she called when her beloved cat Figaro died one snowy afternoon. She gave me a few opera lessons.

I led music for chapel. I grew as a musician, as a worship leader. I endured some very hard times, and out of that I wrote an entire album of songs. I gave a two-hour concert of original music–“Bravissima,” said Mrs. Irving–and then I graduated. I packed up my keyboard, and I moved home.

Both accounts are correct. I became more interdisciplinary.

Back in California with a growing number of degrees, I took a temp job. And then I was hired to do a multidisciplinary job: I came on staff at a church and became the pastor’s assistant. I wrote Bible studies, created PowerPoint presentations, was a sounding board, and was involved with leading the music. I wrote more songs. When the worship pastor went on sabbatical, I led the high school choir and led the music every week.

I am a musician.

And then Westmont called.

I had put in my resume a year earlier. An instructor was going on sabbatical. Would I like to teach the introduction to the history of Christianity?

Of course I would! I will be a history professor!

350 students passed through my lecture course over the next three years. I lectured for two hours twice a week. I loved my students. I loved lecturing, because it meant telling stories. My goal was to embody enthusiasm for history, for the people and the times. To tell their stories. And most of my students loved the stories, too.

This is it, right? But now I need another degree, because I can’t keep teaching at this level with a lonely little Master’s degree.

So, I got a fellowship to Fordham University.

Off to New York City.

Is there a place on earth better suited to a Multipotentialite?

Okay, let me define. A what?

Multipotentialite.

Nope, didn’t know the word existed before today. Then I watched this Ted talk and I felt like I had found my people. Someone who does not have one passion, but many. Who moves from one deep area of interest to another, who walks on the edges of the disciplines.

Back to New York.

As I began to trudge toward my doctorate in history, I looked around and started to feel uneasy. My colleagues had been working for years, heads down in the library. And I respected them. But as I studied art and literature and history, my own interdisciplinary loves bubbled up again. I spent time with new people, including a fascinating young press rep who was destined to be my husband. We went to plays and heard jazz musicians, and I soaked up the beauty of the City. I kept working, balancing the study of two languages with many other classes and massive amounts of reading. I spent my ten hours a week in the medieval studies office, creating newsletters and managing databases and working o the website. I learned to distill vast quantities of thought into several bullet points. I honed my listening skills. I continued to explore the edges of my studies, where art and literature met theology and history, and found some kindred spirits.

But I realized that it wasn’t all I wanted.

I was at one of the top schools in the nation for my field. This was the path I had been traveling for a number of years…only to give up?

I don’t give up.

But the more I thought, prayed, talked to my now-fiancé, the clearer it became: the path I was on required that I sacrifice a number of other parts of who I was becoming, and I couldn’t do that. I was still an artist. A musician. A writer, a singer, a songwriter. And even though my studies were interdisciplinary, there was no margin for the rest of who I was.

When you are a type-A, it can be difficult to be a Multipotentialite.

But it is possible.

So I moved to the next thing.

And the next.

In the dozen years since I finished that second Master’s and let go of academia, I have lived a number of lives. It’s not a tidy list. And grouping the mass of these actives together makes me feel like I look scattered and uncommitted. I’m neither…well, I am not uncommitted. So, my unorthodox resume which does not feel like it would fit in on LinkedIn:

  • I taught sixth grade.
  • I became a mother.
  • I taught piano, with two prodigies among my students.
  • I ghostwrote a book.
  • I wrote my first journal article for Modern Reformation.
  • I started a MOPS group.
  • I led more music and wrote more songs…but a lot fewer after I had kids.
  • I started creating hand-painted photography.
  • I started making portraits.
  • I taught music at a school for three years.
  • I started being paid for making portraits.
  • I mentored young women.
  • I edited a woman’s memoirs.
  • I became the music director at our church.
  • I edited a medical mystery.
  • I became a professional photographer.
  • I opened my first business.
  • I started designing websites.
  • I recorded two webinars.
  • I opened my second business.

When my mom was my age, she went back to school and became a reading specialist, and then she went on and got her doctorate in Educational Psychology.

I always thought that would be my path.

But instead I became a businesswoman. I go to networking groups and listen to endless podcasts on being an entrepreneur. I hired my first assistant. I am launching a third component of my business in the spring.

But you know what?

I am still a storyteller.

When I was little, I wrote stories. And now I tell the stories of families through portraits. And I tell the stories of small businesses through websites. And every Sunday, I tell the redemption story as I lead the beautiful congregation of Pinewoods in worship.

God is a Multipotentialite. Well, no, not potential. He actually does all the things.

And I am made in His image.

So I fit right in, after all.

Sneeze

05 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by Kate in Writing

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Tags

books, children, creating, creativity, distraction, inspiration, process, writing

A friend of mine–a published children’s author of note, an amazingly creative soul, a wonderful Facebook poster–shared a quote from E. B. White yesterday: “I haven’t told why I wrote the book, but I haven’t told why I sneeze, either. A book is a sneeze.”

A sneeze.  Something that you feel compelled to do, yet can’t explain, and really doesn’t involve a great deal of forethought.  (Indeed, forethought seems to kill a lot of my sneezes.  And I hate that.  Because you need to sneeze, and you can’t.)

Anyway.

I have been letting my brain pass over this thought since she posted the quote, because I am accustomed to the sense that the writing process is Very Important.  And Challenging.  And possibly Serious. And also probably requires a great deal more focus than I am able to give it.

Right now I am typing as I lie (lay? lie? lay?  I always start second-guessing myself…) on my stomach on the sofa.  My son, who stayed home from his enrichment program today with a slight cold is reading “This is my monster,” which involves pressing a button that makes a roaring sound.  And because he is a fairly fast reader, the monster is roaring approximately every ten seconds.  And now he is asking, “When will it be time to pick Lily up?” because, after all, she is the cruise director.  This is the kind of focus of which I am currently capable.

A.W. Tozer’s advice on writing has served as my Platonic ideal:

(Sorry, brief interruption as I fix a green army paratrooper.)

A.W. Tozer’s advice on writing has served as my Platonic ideal: “The only book that should ever be written is the one that flows up from the heart, forced out by the inward pressure.”  Yes, yes, I reply!  Enough of these half-witted books about nothing, these poorly constructed diatribes, these lackluster rambles!  I shall only create Good Books, Flowing from the Heart, Forced Out Through Inward Pressure!  Only meaningful and useful and worthwhile and beautiful books.

(Ah, sorry.  Another moment of re-tying the army man to his parachute.  And, in return, receiving the accolade, “Mommy, you are the best at fixing stuff.”  Oh, little man, how I love you.)

The bottom line is that I want to write worthwhile books.  I want to commit to paper a story that will stir hearts and minds and point to Truth with a Big T.  I want to contribute to the greater conversation.

(And yet I know that there is a story being written in the margins that is my true life’s work.  And I know it can be a both/and rather than an either/or, but I also know what my focus is right now.)

I think that E. B. White is amazing because he sneezed Charlotte’s Web into existence.  I want to sneeze a beloved book into existence.  Wouldn’t that be remarkable?

So, I will continue to fill my mind with the snippets of stories–family history, tales of survival and overcoming than led to the simple fact of my existence–and good essays, and I will observe my children playing in the waves and I will nurture deep old friendships and some new ones and perhaps one day I will sneeze, and a beloved children’s classic will be born.

Isn’t that how fairies are born?

photo(3)

But excuse me.  I need to go help a small boy who just discovered a little green frog.

little frog

Nostalgia

24 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by Kate in Writing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

ancestry, autumn, fall, memories, new england

It’s going to be fall soon.

My new home in Florida clings to summer, the air damp and warm, the trees in bloom with great, waxy green leaves.  The lawn is verdant, and even on cloudy days one could not mistake the weather for a drizzly winter morning.

I know this Indian Summer, as we called it in my childhood.  It’s familiar–the soaring temperatures of early September that made all of your new back-to-school outfits unbearably hot, the sunny afternoons that made you sweat in the back seat of the station wagon, feet burning in their sturdy shoes.  Our summers in California were not as fierce as they are here, and the air was not damp.  But the season always insisted on giving its all right there at the end, making you long for the quiet, dark classroom where you might be allowed to lay your head on the cool desk after recess.

I had a four-year respite from this blazing transition from summer to fall. For four years, I lived on a hill which produced an autumn that will remain my personal standard for fall until I am old and grey.  It featured trees in brilliant color, crisp mornings, slanting afternoon light.  Every step crunched underfoot, dark puddles reflected brilliantly blue sky, and the air was filled with faintly acrid burning leaves.  The orchard up the road offered its tartly sweet apple cider.

One afternoon I found myself along a favorite path, trees nearly devoid of their bright colors, the dirt instead littered with colorful confetti.  It was a wooded trail to which I still return in my memory.  I would pass along the path, solitary but safe, and come out upon the granite boulders and the sea crashing beneath.  And then I would sit on the massive stone and stare out to the horizon.  It was the perfect place for writing, for thinking, for breathing.

I miss my perch on that slab of granite.

There is a deep nostalgia tied up in my memories of New England, with its red leaves and rain haunting music and white-steepled chapels.  I cherish my own memories.  And in some faint way, I feel connected to those who walked its roads centuries ago.

I have ancestors buried there in its soft soil.  I feel a deep connection to its earth and sea, to the hopes and fears and prejudices and customs of a long-gone age.  They came seeking a new world, and now they are dusty and ancient. And I am here and now and thinking of them.

I wonder whether my steps shared small paths they crossed long ago.

In three hundred years, I wonder if anyone will think of me, or know I lived.  I will be long gone to glory, and one day we will be reunited, but on this beautiful bit of earth, I wonder if I will have left a trace.  Perhaps my distant child will wander down that path through the woods, and marvel at the autumn beauty, and find the sea, and breathe a grateful prayer.

I hope she enjoys it as much as I did.

Write. Every day.

05 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by Kate in Writing

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Tags

fiction, non-fiction, stories, writing

My uncle Bill gave me some good advice once: Write. Every day. Write something. Make an appointment and write. Just write.

That was a three years ago.

His advice came as I spent time each week working on a book that would be published under his name; and, indeed, that was only fair, since a great amount of the prose in that book was taken from two of his other books, edited down with some original devotional material added by me. It was a book that is now available on Amazon. I have two trim copies sitting on my shelf in their pale blue spines, read a few times, awaiting an audience that might appreciate their advice. But they don’t feel like mine, even if they contain sentences that I crafted and ideas that came from my mind. They feel like visitors who stayed with me for a while, visitors who enjoyed my hospitality and became good friends but now have gone about their independent lives without me.

Still, that book gave me reason to write. Maybe not every day. I had a baby and a toddler and my time at home was a jumble of Cheerios and board books and Elmo. But a couple of times each week, my beloved babysitter would drop by or it would be time for preschool and I would go to the coffee shop at the bottom of the mountain and write. And edit. And write more. I would write for seven hours, and then come home to my sweet babies.

I have always known that I wanted to write. Somewhere in my garage in a weather-sealed tub of journals, my twelve-year-old self laments, “I want to write. I have the urge. But that is all–an urge. Nothing more.” And I return to that sentiment again and again, knowing as well as that twelve-year-old person the difficulty of committing words to paper.

I wrote stories as a child. Pages and pages of fiction, booklets of poetry, and one modestly famous (in my nine-year-old mind) forty-stanza poem called The Dog Star. It was the highlight of my elementary literary achievement, appearing in abridged form (because really, who on earth would want to read a forty-stanza poem created by a fourth grader about an inventive farmhouse dog) in our school newsletter.

It’s difficult to peak at age nine.

I still remember writing that poem, sprawled out across my faux-quilt comforter in its calming shades of pink and green and white and yellow. I remember my parents in their bedroom across the hall, and shutting them out with a close of my door as the words flowed effortlessly onto the paper. I emerged after a couple of hours with my masterpiece in hand. I knew it was a winner. My classmates offered encouragement, and I was proud of my achievement, not with a haughty pride but with the pride that a sometimes-melancholy, bespectacled nine-year-old with ribbon barrettes needs to experience once in a while.

That poem would probably have passed into complete obscurity in my memory were it not for my fourth-grade teacher. He celebrated my poem. He had me recite it in front of my classmates and their parents at a class poetry reading. He recommended to my parents that I would benefit from reading the poetry of Robert Service–a very important-sounding and significant recommendation in my young mind, as if my life as a poet were laid out before me and was mine for the taking.

Write. Every day.

This is advice that I have not taken. I used to journal religiously–I have dozens of volumes crammed with my terrible handwriting, handwriting that was the subject of concerned, hushed conversation between my mother and Mrs. Merrill, the oft-maligned and strict-yet-undeneath-it-all-quite-dear third grade teacher. Those conversations resulted in a summer course of handwriting practice. Handwriting! Archaic now. But I’ve always been self-conscious about my handwriting. And now I type.

But I digress. I have journals crammed with thoughts. And then many more journals lost to computer upgrades and obsolete disk formats. I have dozens of pages of potential novels that have also been lost to the even-changing technological archive, but I doubt that we have lost anything of true value in the shift. I wrote for classes, of course. But though I was an English major in college, I don’t remember studying the art of writing. I read, I researched, I analyzed, I wrote, I became a historian. I pursued history to understand the context of the literature I loved, and ended up falling in love with history even more. Yes, I wrote–my 125-page thesis on Everyman was the triumph of my first Master’s degree. But when did I stop writing just for the fun of it?

A second Master’s degree was less about writing and much more about surviving. I loved studying in New York. I loved living ten blocks from The Cloisters, and losing myself in the medieval beauty, the stately crypt and the bejeweled manuscripts. My thirsty soul soaked it up. I read medieval drama, I studied medieval art and architecture, I soldiered on as the fellow in Medieval Studies and published the newsletter and tried to cram in my French and thousands of pages a week of reading. And I fell in love. Not with my program–with my husband. I met him two days after arriving in NYC and while I emerged from my year in New York clutching my hard-earned Master’s, I was far more ecstatic that I had met the love of my life.

Write. Every day.

As a newlywed, I had one month to finish all of the revisions on my thesis–a work which, unlike my first thesis, did not have my heart. It was utilitarian. It looked at some interesting questions. It checked the box. But I had set off for Fordham to become a doctor of medieval theology and history and spirituality, and only found one professor who seemed remotely interested in those particular questions. And so, I set that dream aside. Or, perhaps more honestly, I followed that dream to its logical end and realized that I didn’t want what lay at the end of that path. And in the crush of study, I had all but stopped writing anything with soul. I don’t blame that particular program–I was writing all the time. But I lacked the mental space and breathing room to create anything real.

Do other writers require space?

They must not, if they write every day. And perhaps I don’t either.

That was ten years ago. I finished my second Master’s degree, defended it, moved cross-country, got married, and settled into life as a newlywed in the span of four short weeks. Ten years ago.

In the past ten years, I have taught sixth grade, tossed out and re-written a Bible curriculum for said sixth graders, moved again, had two children, led worship, written songs, survived the blur and joy of small children, moved a third time, and begun a new life by the sea.

But I have all but stopped writing.

I think I need to write. Every day. Just write.

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